Human love is love in which our focus is on receiving a hormonal high when being together with the loved one. Once our love has matured to the point where the focus is on our ability to love, independent of the qualities of the object of love, we are already practising a pre-state of bhakti. The vital difference is the shift from wanting to receive love to wanting to give love. The more mature this love is, the more independent it is from the actual behaviour of the recipient. This is clear in our image of the ideal motherly love, in which the mother loves her child unconditionally, even as the child continues to display unfortunate behaviour and choices.
Therefore, it is not untrue to say that our families offer the first training ground for exercising bhakti. If we develop a mature quality of love towards our spouse, children, and parents, we can extend this love to all children of God, human and otherwise. This is a massive step as our family often functions as an extension of our ego. While mature love towards one’s family members is a significant step forward, it cannot be said to be true bhakti unless directed towards the whole of existence. This is so because the whole of existence is the crystallised body of the Divine. The Divine is not a bearded white man in the sky. On the contrary, the Divine consists of:
- – a transcendental aspect (variously called the formless Absolute, infinite consciousness, the Dao, the Father, nirguna Brahman, etc.),
- – an immanent aspect (called cosmic intelligence, divine creative force, Shakti, the Mother, Shekhinah, etc.),
- – all matter as the body of the Divine,
- – an infinity of beings into which the divine enters by becoming Itself as them,
- – and an infinity of objects, which the Divine enters by giving them their characteristics.
A deep understanding of the above list forms the key to genuine bhakti. The Bhagavata Purana states that we need to meditate on each aspect of the Divine individually and then on all parts together. (Bhagavata Purana III.33.22)
When we genuinely want to love God, we must love every being and atom in this universe and everything beyond. The first chapter of this text is devoted to this subject because a true understanding of what the Divine is forms the foundation of bhakti. Seeing everything as God does not mean that we accept everything as perfect or that the world that humanity has created for itself is perfect. It is everything but. It means, however, that we need to become agents of change, not from a position of frustration, anger, or fear at the fact that things are the way they are, but from a position of love.
Bhakti is sometimes called the yoga of emotions or the act of turning one’s emotions God-wards. Neither of these statements is wrong, but they require explanation. These statements do not mean we should be emotional or that emotions are closer to the Divine than thoughts. Emotions are feelings based on past imprints. If I am emoting, I’m reacting based on past conditions. An easy way to understand this is if we look at our response to something our spouse does. If it triggers a response based on the present moment, our response can only be said to provoke in us a feeling. For example, we could be sad, concerned, or fearful about something our partner says or does. In either case, we would be capable of pointing out our feeling without much emotional charge in our voices. We could communicate that it would be helpful for us if our partner could adjust their behaviour for such and such reasons.
The situation would be much different in the case of an emotion. Here, we would not respond to our partner based on feelings arising in the moment. Rather than that, we would react based on emotions related to the past. These emotions are often linked to similar situations we have experienced with a parent or primary carer. As children, we are usually powerless to respond adequately at the moment; hence, an emotional charge, such as one related to humiliation, will gradually build up over time. These charges may then become triggered decades later, and we may display an emotional outburst that is seemingly out of proportion to what our partner has just communicated. An emotion is, hence, an accumulated feeling based on past experiences, reactions, and imprints.
If we then call bhakti the yoga of emotions, or when talking of turning one’s emotions God-wards, what we really mean is that bhakti deals with purifying one’s emotions by turning them God-wards. Let’s look, for example, at the emotions of fear and hatred. It is impossible to love God and hate any of Her children. To hate anybody amounts to hating God. In this case, turning one’s emotions God-wards means having to let go of hatred, as hatred for anybody would amount to hatred of God. About fear, Shri Krishna states in the Bhagavad Gita that His devotees are those who fear nobody and who cause fear in nobody. (Bhagavad Gita XII.15) They do so because they see everything as a manifestation of God. Of course, it would be foolish to say that bhakti will prevent any feeling of fear. For example, if we are crossing a street and a large truck careens towards us at high speed, feeling fear is healthy. Fear will mobilise adrenaline, which helps us to lurch with incredible velocity toward the safety of the food path. But bhakti will help us overcome the more or less permanent state of unconscious anxiety that many experience today. Notice here again the difference between a feeling related to the present moment and a long-accumulated emotion. Therefore, we can generalise that emotions can only continue to exist in the absence of divine love. In the presence of divine love, they will melt away, and only feelings related to the present will remain.
The next article will explore divine love.
This is an excerpt from my book BHAKTI The Yoga of Love.